Surrender...

I'm sitting here waiting for my dear little Anna to get home ON THE BUS and the only word that keeps coming to mind is "surrender".  This is not something I do easily!  I am head strong, strong-willed, determined, whatever you want to call it and I like to have control.  This is something the Lord has continually worked on throughout my life and I'm sure He'll continue to do so until the day I die.  The definition of surrender is to give up or yeild possession or power.  In terms of mothering, that can be hard to do.  As a mother I want to control every area of my children's lives making sure they're safe, well taken care of, and generally happy.  When I'm not with them, I can't be sure all those things are happening.  However, I also have to realize that they belong to HIM, HE created them, and HE loves them more than I ever will.  HE can care for them better than I can and HE is with them always!  I'm trying to hold it together, trying not to freak out, and let my emotions go wild.  When she started preschool 2 years ago, I had to let go a little and have had with small things in the past few years but riding the bus home - this is big stuff for us!  I've had this little girl at home with me almost every day, most days the entire day, for 5+ years and now she's gone a few hours every day and today is riding the bus without me.  I can do this only because I know that my God is with her even when I can't be.